24th Contest of Arms Bardic Contest

The following are the entries in the Bardic contest held at the 24th Annual Contest of Arms.

Tournaments 101 – an Informative Pamphlet by A. Watermage

The Kraken’s Garden

Adapted from the boring original by Professor Freedomancer Nemesis Tropicana Delora Esq.

Don’t want to be under the sea
With a Deep One’s undead Kraken chasing me
Though we were keen to kill their Queen
For the necromantic treasure we had seen

We grew some gills, jumped off the quay
To stop them using necromancy

It’s not so fab fighting a crab
And the mind controlling seaweed doesn’t helo
It would captivate, we’d hallucinate
Trapped and tripping balls from puffed up kelp

We would scream and run around
Because that sodding Death Knight’s inbound

We’re in the dark, and there’s a shark
And the Deep One’s nyxomancy is a pain
We can see now they’re underwater Drow
And killing them would be the ocean’s gain

We would be to happy you and me
No Deep Ones there to cut us in two
Don’t want to be under the sea
With a Deep One’s undead Kraken chasing you
But at least there’s no aquatic kangaroo
With a Deep One’s undead Kraken chasing you

The Maiden and the Necromancer

By Penny Dreadful

Video here (Youtube): The Maiden and the Necromancer